A couple of weeks ago, there was the big non-issue in the corporate media on how the Democratic Party did not respect stay at home mothers because of the remark of one woman who said, truthfully, that Ann Romney hadn't worked a day in her life and was not a good receptor of how real moms(or at least middle class/poor families) felt about the economy...big fake hysterics from rich people went on and on and on. During this time, I was watching a real stay at home mom's life completely fall apart:
I met Claire when our kids played soccer together, at least 15 years ago. She was, for the most part, a blue collar stay at home mom--John, her husband, was a truck driver, her oldest child was just starting elementary school and she was happy being, "Mom". Both Claire and John came from similar backgrounds, high school education, John was a veteran and used the GI Bill to buy their home. They lived in a decent, but changing neighborhood where cops and teachers and the like lived, knew the neighbors and had cookouts and garage sales during the summer. Then illness slipped into the fabric of their lives.
John's issues began with carpal tunnel syndrome--kind of hard to drive a truck when you can't use your hands. He came back from that but then it was his back. He ended up having 2 or 3 surgeries on his back over 10 years and still lived in pain. He was also diagnosed with cancer and went through treatment for that. during one of his hospital stays(I think it was his second back surgery), the wrong medication was given to him and he almost died. Oh, and he was diagnosed with mental health issues also(like no one saw THAT coming with all of the stress of illness).
During this time, Claire would help with the bills by finding jobs, but she didn't have any training so her jobs consisted of server, cleaning and basic service jobs. In 2007, she herself, ended up in the hospital with back surgery which curtailed her ability to work again, along with a chronic lung disease. Not that she could anyway, she was John's nurse...by 2009, John couldn't take a shower by himself due to his inability of steadying himself, couldn't really do much for himself due to him forgetting what he had done or hadn't done, someone had to be home with him all the time and the kids had their own lives so Claire took over taking care of her husband. In 2009, they were finally approved to receive SSI(after being disapproved twice) so at least they had $1100 coming in monthly that could be depended on.
But $1100 doesn't go very far in these days, the mortgage was under $800, but it still took over half of the money coming in. They did receive food stamps...until their daughter found a full time job...in retail(yep, making all of $9 for 4 people). There's water, electricity, heating, phone...the phone was the first to go. Around Christmas of 2011, they received the foreclosure notice from the bank.
In January, Claire found an apartment for John and her and their 18 year old son. The rent was under $600 monthly and included heat and water so she felt ok about being able to keep it up. Since John couldn't help much with moving, Claire, the kids and 1 or 2 friends did the moving. One morning, Claire and her son went back to the old house to get another load, came back to the apartment and found John hanging, in a bedroom closet. And the nightmare is now only beginning...
Within a couple of weeks, Claire had nothing...no house, no car, no money. She was able to get a death benefit from Social Security of under $300, but she's 9 years too young to collect widow's benefits, although the woman who helped us also put in a claim under her disabilities and told her that if she's denied the first time, check and see why and what wasn't filed correctly. Nice thing about long term government employees...they'll usually try to help people that come in with substantive claims.
We also went to the Department of Human Services(Public Aid), but all she could receive is $200 in food stamps--no medical card, no cash. Oh, and she is basically homeless. She stayed with us for about a week and is living with friends, but she has nothing to get an apartment with.
So, this is the way that blue collar stay at home moms are treated...husband dies, she's just thrown out to the wolves because in the past 30+ years, the republicons and right wing have been tearing apart the social safety net to make sure that Americans don't have to suffer this way...John and Claire paid their taxes, unlike many of the Republicons, including the Mittster, worked for their lifestyle which was taken away by illness, not becasue of addiction, not because of being lazy, not because of being a minority(this is a white family), but because the breadwinner became chronically ill. This could happen to anyone, much easier than to happen than our American fantasy of becoming the next millionaire. This is your life, Middle Class America..when illness happens. Ann Romney and her ilk knows nothing of this terror, although many of the women she "speaks for" think about this terror on a daily basis.
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